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“The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman

Posted on Wednesday July 01st 2009
Filed under: Book Review By CoachStan, I have written 86 posts - Click here to visit my Website

 

This book was first published in 1992 and the information in the book is as valid today as it was then. Every couple (gay or straight) would be wise to read this book once their first year of marriage or co-habitating has past. If I had known the information in this book when I first got married, I may still be married today.

When the bloom of first love fades, we start to see our partner’s faults and warts. We get involved in our day-to-day lives and are not necessarily aware of what keeps true love alive in a relationship. What happens more times than not is that the partners start to drift apart because they are not feeling loved by the other partner. Why do we do that? We do that because each of us has our own way of feeling loved. It is not that we are not showing love to our partner. The challenge is that we are showing love to our partner in the way we want to be loved. It is not their love language and they do not feel the love we are trying to show. This book changes that. The book is sub-titled – “How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.”

So what are the five love languages? They are
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch

It is more than knowing the five love languages that is important. It is knowing how to determine your love language and the love language of you partner and then knowing how to speak that love language. The book does a great job of making sure you have the practical understanding necessary to speak your partners love language. There are very few couples where both speak the same love language. The rest of us have to do a bit of homework.

For the guys, this is not a woo woo book, but a practical approach to ensuring you have a sustainable marriage. Remember as one comedian so aptly put it – Happy Wife, Happy Life. It is more than that, it is important you feel loved by your spouse as well. To use the author terms, we all need our “love tanks” to be full.

Gary Chapman has some new books out on the art of marriage. I have not seen this book in the bookstores recently, so you may have to search for it as a used book. I know there are some who have it on your bookshelf and have not read it yet.

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“The Living Energy Universe” by Gary E.R. Schwartz and Linda G.S. Russek

Posted on Friday June 26th 2009
Filed under: Book Review By CoachStan, I have written 86 posts - Click here to visit my Website

 

The preface of this book starts off – “How would you feel if you knew scientifically that everything is eternal, alive and evolving?
Not just animals and plants, but rivers and clouds, planets and stars, electrons and protons, waves and particles, even light and energy itself. That every system, in some essential way, contains eternal, living and evolving memories. That the whole universe is a living, remembering, self-revising process-a living energy universe. And therefore, in a deep sense, all things-great and small, visible and invisible, material and spiritual, past and future-are in an energetic state of creative “becoming,” a universal revising process of dynamic perpetual bloom.
Would you feel exhilarated, peaceful, terrified, amazed, incredulous, inspired-all of the above? Would you smile?”

I know it leaves me thinking and in many ways validates information I have become aware of through other sources. The authors talk about their hypothesis they call “systemic memory.” They claim their hypothesis stands the rigors of science to date in that it pasts the standard tests of new science theories and has not been proven incorrect because an exception has not been found. One of the best ways to prove a theory wrong is to find the exception. An example would be to claim that all crows are black. To prove that wrong, all one has to do is find a white crow. In fact there are white crows, however in the case of systemic memory no white crow has been found so far. The authors have not presented their case as an absolute, but as a new venture for science to explore as the implications of their findings are profound and need to be fully examined.

The book discussed their hypothesis, including a portion of the mathematics to support it, and gives many interesting examples of it at work for one to ponder. One of these is the evidence of possible memory transplant when an organ is transplanted into a new recipient. There is powerful documented cases of detailed information or habits about the donor’s life being transferred to the recipient of an organ without the donor having any other source of this knowledge or behavior. One must ponder what is really happening here.

As further stated in the preface – “This book is about a story, a really big story, a story as big as the big bang or big bloom itself. If this story expresses a truth, it will forever change the way all of us envisions both the visible and invisible aspects of nature. It will revise the way we view everything-body, mind, spirit, energy – everything.”

This book is a book that takes some time to digest. There is a lot of information to think about. One must approach this book with an open mind and read through it before deciding what you believe. Remember there were scientists who refuted the earth was round and refused to look through Galileo’s telescope when the ideas were first brought forth. Some ideas cause significant shifts in our knowledge and our thinking. This may be one of them.

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BlueFur ThinkFitness Update Video - Week 21

Posted on Thursday June 25th 2009
Filed under: ThinkFitness By bluefur, I have written 56 posts - Click here to visit my Website

 

This week I check in with my weight update. I talk about buying new clothes. New portion of the video includes question of the week. Have a suggestion or question? Leave a comment down below or catch me on twitter.

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The Trolls who collect the Tolls

Posted on Thursday June 25th 2009
Filed under: The Rant By CoachStan, I have written 86 posts - Click here to visit my Website

 

For those reading this blog from outside the area, the new Golden Ears toll bridge opened on June 16th over the Fraser River from Maple Ridge to Langley and Surrey. This should be a momentous event, however I am left wondering.

If you have not been over the bridge the speed limit on the bridge deck is 80 kph. However, the north exit ramp from the bridge is 70 and the south exit slows to 60. It has always been my understanding that the speed limits are set on roads in accordance with how safe they are to handle the flow of traffic. I am told that the radar buddies have been busy with their speed traps in the 60 zone. Could it be with all the money that was spent on building the fancy off ramps that they are unsafe to handle the traffic? Or, could it be that a deal was done with the municipalities to generate additional revenue for their coffers through speeding fines. The speed at the north exit makes sense. The south exit clearly does not.

I received my transponder from Translink in order that my vehicle will be recognized electronically so that I may benefit from the lowest toll rate. Golden Ears Bridge has different toll rates depending on whether you are an unregistered user, a registered user of video billing or a registered user with a transponder. I thought it rather ironic that the transponder is about the same size as my wallet! Makes me wonder if this was a fruedian slip?

Along with the transponder which they have named “Quickpass” they include the Customer Agreement. The Customer Agreement is two sides of an 8-1/2 by 14 sheet in small print. Some lawyer is going to retire on the fee from creating this document. I suggest you go through this agreement. It has a few salient points that you need to be aware of. The wonderful part of this is if you want to save a few dollars, you have no choice but to accept their Agreement.

Section 4.4 of the Agreement states – “You must notify TransLink of any change of Registered vehicle or of name or address or registered office as the case may be within seven (7) days of the occurrence of the change. That means there is now one more agency you need to notify if you make any changes to the location or ownership of your vehicle if you are a registered user of the toll system.

Section 5.5 allows TransLink to charge a registered transponder user at the higher video toll rate if the toll system does not detect the transponder. If their transponder does not work, You Pay More!

Clause 5.6 allows TransLink to charge you at the full non-registered toll rate if they find you in breach of the agreement for any reason, including the fact that your prepaid account is less than the minimum balance TransLink sets. That means even if there is still sufficient funds in your account, you get dinged at the higher rate.

Clause 7.3 requires that you are responsible to notify TransLink of any change to your payment details. This is not unfair, you just need to be aware.

Clause 10.2 allows TransLink to annually increase the security deposit and monthly rental for the Transponder in accordance with the increase in the Consumer Price Index, however there is no downward adjustment if the index decreases.

Clause 11 of the agreement – Dispute of Charges says “If you wish to dispute a Toll or any related charge you must notify TransLink in accordance with the dispute resolution procedure set out at www.Quickpasstolling.ca.” Surprise! There is no dispute resolution procedure on the website. Is this an oversight or a deliberate misrepresentation? Do not bother TransLink with any problems you may have with your account.

Section 20 of the Agreement allows TransLink to change the terms of the Agreement any time upon notice and if you do not agree you get to pay higher tolls as you must turn in your transponder.

Although you have not signed any agreement permitting TransLink to obtain personal credit information, clause 21.5 allows TransLink to “request a credit investigation about you and share information about the way you conduct your account with credit reference agencies.” Clause 21.9 goes on to say “By applying for opening an account with TransLink you hereby consent to the uses and disclosures of personal information as set out herein.” It would be interesting for a lawyer to have a look at this section. My feeling is that TransLink has taken liberties with the law here.

Section 24 excludes TransLink from any liability whatsoever and your only remedy for a defective transponder is the replacement of the transponder.

Oh and if you think you might be able to run up a tab and not pay your toll bill, the following information is on the TransLink website and in covered in legalize detail in the Agreement– “To ensure the Golden Ears Bridge toll is collected fairly and equitably from all users, ICBC will refuse to issue a driver’s license, vehicle license and vehicle insurance when a person owes TransLink an excessive toll debt.” This applies to any debt over Thirty, yes 30 dollars.

To say the document is an Agreement is a bit of a stretch of the imagination. It is more of a form of forced Indentureship where you get to do as they say or suffer financially. The Agreement and the issue of the speed on the bridge and ramps is a reflection of the highhanded ego driven attitude of TransLink towards managing and developing public transit in the Lower Mainland. This attitude also show up in the bus system. The bus system is a subject for a separate blog, however it adds to the point that maybe it is time for the TransLink Board and the President, Thomas Prendergast, to resign and replace them with a feet on the ground practical approach to service and to moving the public.

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BC first province to license home inspectors - better protection for home buyers!

Posted on Wednesday June 24th 2009
Filed under: Business By best BC mortgages, I have written 9 posts - Click here to visit my Website

 

On March 31, 2009, BC became the FIRST province to license home inspectors. Previously, anyone with a background could call themselves “home inspectors” and training was completely voluntary. Pretty serious when you think about it because for most of us buying a home is the biggest investment we will ever make in our lifetime.

So, after consultating with consumers and the industry, BC opted for licensing under the Business Practices and Consumer Protection Authority (BPCPA). There are approximately 300 to 400 home inspectors in BC and most are members of at least one of the three professional associations. By incorporating input from each association the new regualtions were developed.

The BPCPA will help protect the buyer’s interests, by:
1. Assessing the qualifications of, and requiring mandatory licences for, home inspectors.
2. Receiving and responding to complaints from consumers.
3. Monitoring compliance through inspections and enforcement, with penalties that can range as high as $5,000.
4. To become licensed, home inspectors will need to meet the qualifications of either the Canadian Association of Home & Property Inspectors – BC branch; the Applied Science Technologists and Technicians of British Columbia; or the National Certification Program for Home and Property Inspectors.
5. Also, like other groups regulated by the BPCPA who work with consumers, home inspectors require a criminal record check.

Of course BCPA regualtion does not replace references. Always start with a referral from people you trust and ask questions until you feel satisfied!

Happy house hunting!

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ThinkFitness Putting Challenge

Posted on Saturday June 20th 2009
Filed under: ThinkFitness By bluefur, I have written 56 posts - Click here to visit my Website

 

We taped our putting challenge. See who steps up to win the challenge…

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